


A Hand to Hold

by GenerousBirch87



Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, Phantom - Susan Kay, Phantom of the Opera (2004), Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28413339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenerousBirch87/pseuds/GenerousBirch87
Summary: Christine D'Arcy is about to got to NYU for Vocal Performance, the dream of a lifetime. After her fathers death and her mothers turn to alcohol she is left reeling, reaching for any shred of hope that she is worth anything.
Relationships: Christine Daaé/Erik | Phantom of the Opera
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Packing

Musicals rang out in my ears while I laid back on my bed, legs hanging over the edge, enjoying the wind from the over-hanging fan. I was in my happy place, completely at ease. Until I felt a hand grab at me.  
I shot up, sitting straight on my bed to see my mother standing in front of me. She had apparently knocked multiple times, but I hadn't heard. I fling my earphones on to my bed.  
"I'm sorry I scared you." She said in her typically quiet voice. Looking at her I could see that she had that glazed look in her eye. She was drunk again.  
"You didn't," I try smiling up at her "Just surprised me."  
"I was just making sure you were packing for school. You only have 3 more days." She started her way to the door, stumbling a bit. "You never do what you're supposed to do."  
"Yes mom, I know." I glance at the clock, it was 8:17 at night. I called after her "Hey, it's getting a bit late. You heading to bed soon?"  
"I am the mother. I tell you when to go to bed!" she called back from the hall.  
Sigh. "Yes mother."  
And so started her rant. It slowly got drowned out by the distance of her room to mine. I got up and closed the door more, locking the door for safety measures.  
Summer was too long. Don't get me wrong, I love summer. Just not this one.  
My father died the month before my senior year ended. It was a bad end to a bad high school career. Everywhere I went there was some one giving me that look. You know, the one where they are basically saying "How are you doing? Do you need anything? Like a casserole?"  
We got at least 8 casseroles.  
He was a known figure in the town, especially in the theater community. He had gone to a university for vocal performance, but came back to his hometown with my mom, and had me.  
Then the cancer hit. It's not like it happened all of a sudden, it lasted a good 3 months, they didn't catch it in time, I guess there was nothing much they could do for him.  
I got accepted into the same school he went to, NYU. The same day he went to the hospital. One of mom's favorite sayings in those situations is "One of Gods many unfunny jokes".  
I shoved my buds back into my ears and turned the volume up full blast, hearing Kristen Chenoweth singing a perfect rendition of "Glitter and Be Gay". Tying my blond poof hair back into a bun, I start on the remaining clothing that is supposed to fit into my suitcase.  
I kneel beside my suitcase to try to skillfully fit the rest of my clothing into it, and start to fiddle with my name tag on the handle, the words "Christine D'Arcy" shining back at me, along with a number and my address.  
I sigh and begin shoving.


	2. Arriving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine has Arrived in New York City

"So, where you from?" The cabbie in the front asked me.  
"A small town in Canada, you probably wouldn't know it." I reply, clutching my carry on bag close to my heart. This sent him on a small tirade about that one time he travelled to Canada. Or was it Niagara Falls. I was fine with this, it allowed me to just pay attention to the sights of New York and my music.  
The last three days at home were mostly full of music, staying up in my room, or taking walks to the library. I didn't have many friends back home, so I didn't have many goodbyes to say, just the few I said at graduation. By the time this morning came, I was ready to throw everything in the taxi and run for the hills. I said a quick goodbye to my mom early this morning, who was asleep with her normal companion on the couch and off I went.  
The plane ride was, once again, filled with my music and looking through my binder of selections of what I would sing in my first day of classes. I wasn't sure if I would need one but I was excitingly thinking of the options should he ask me to sing anything.  
"Hey kid!" the cab driver called back, and I was bolted from my thoughts to the now. He gave me a little wave to the outside and added "We're here."  
I took a quick glimpse of my new home before quickly giving the man the correct amount of money for the trip. I climbed out of the back and was met by a rather tall boy with bright brown eyes at the back of the cab.  
"Hey there!" he exclaimed as he shoved his hand toward me. I gave it a questioning look before he gave a light chuckle and continued. "I'm not a crazy new Yorker I promise you. I'm Dillon, your RA." I reluctantly put my hand in his and shake, more lackluster than him. "You just got here so early, I figured I would meet you and help you with your bags."  
Looking at him now I was surprised I didn't notice before that he was wearing a bright green shirt with the school logo of the school roaring Leopard and the quote "Move in the Herd" in a circle around it. He had dark brown curly hair and an "everyone is my friend" air about him.  
"Um, hi." I respond, still clutching my carry on bag to my chest, pushing down the little smile that started pulling at the corners of my mouth. I didn't have to let him know that he was as charming as he thought he was. "I'm – "  
"Christine!" He announced, starting to open the back of the cab and take out some of my heavier bags, "From Port Hope, Ontario, Canada! Here for . . ."  
"Vocal Performance, yeah. Listen!" I exclaim starting to try to take my big suitcase from under his arm, "You don't have to help, I can get them my self."  
He simply tugged it out of my grasp and laughed "Please you're on the 15th floor and have more than 5 bags! I'll just grab the heaviest ones." And with that he gave me a little wink and headed in the building with my bags in tow, leaving only two small bags for me to carry.


	3. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine Meets her roommate and her parents

My room was all white.  
White brick walls, white tile flooring, white light overhead. The only thing devoid of white was the dark blue mattress' laying on the two twin beds adjacent from each other. My roommate was going to arrive any time, it was going on 9 am and since I got there I'd been putting my clothing in my drawers, setting up my desk and putting my sheets on my bed. Slowly the white was being accented by my favourite color, Emerald. Accented by gold, but those would have to come later when I had a way to get to a target.  
I was just finishing putting the comforter on my bed when I heard a flourish of noise and laughter enter the room. I spin around just as a girl about my age with bright red hair came into the room, preceded by a rather large man with a noticeable bald spot and followed by a woman who looked very much lie her but with more of a curl to her flaming red hair.  
Laughing with her mom, once she saw me her (already giant) eyes nearly popped out of her head and she dropped whatever bags she carried galloped over them, nearly pushing the man over to make her way over to me. She linked her arms around my neck, and with such force that I struggled to keep my balance against the edge of my bed.  
"Oh my God!" the girl squealed into my hair, still clinging onto me. I assumed she wouldn't let go until I showed some recognition, so I brought my arms up and wrapped them lightly around her and gave a few friendly pats before she decided to pull away.  
"You must be Christine!" she beamed as she turned away and started to help her mom put some of her bags on and around her side of the room. "I couldn't wait to meet you! I was thinking all the way over here how we were going to decorate the room and everything, wasn't I mom?"  
"She definitely was." The lovely woman laughed as she set the last few bags on the bed and turned to me with her hand extended. "Hi, Christine! I'm Lily's mom, Ray, its very nice to meet you!" I let her take my hand, the light contact almost a complete turn-around from Lily's abundance of energy.  
"Hi, it's nice to meet you to." I answered, trying not to be as awkward as I always was in these "meeting-people" situations.  
"Oh jeez I can't wait to start getting to know you! I just know were going to be the best of friends!" Lily called back as she started dumping her clothing into her drawers. Ray tried to go over and fold a couple of clothes but to no avail. It was clear who was Type A and Type B as Ray just acquiesced and allowed Lily to organize her clothing how she wanted while she got to work on the bed.  
"Oscar," Ray hollered to the man by the door who had dropped the bags near the washroom. "Would you go down and get Lil's bathroom bags? OH!" She glanced back up at me, "This is Oscar, Lily's dad." He gave a little wave and a big smile before started on his way out of the room and the others started at their own business.  
"You must have gotten here pretty early! You parent's already headed out by the looks of it!" Ray called from under the heavy mattress and mattress pad.  
"Oh," I hesitated, wondering how to explain this. "Well, they didn't really come with me today . . ." There was no reason to give the morose details right now. "They both just had work and stuff to take care of so I flew down myself."  
"Really!" Ray exclaimed letting the mattress flop off her shoulders and back onto the bed frame. "You flew down though? From where, if you don't mind my asking."  
"Oh of course not!" I crawl back and sit down on the edge of my bed and start fiddling with my blankets, "I'm from Canada."  
"Wow!" Lily's head flipped around with a few shirts clumped up in her hands. "We visit up there for summers sometimes! Where in Canada?"  
"It's just a little town called Port Hope. It's about an hour east of Toronto." I try to explain in the best way I know how.  
"Okay!" Ray nods like she understands but I could tell it was the polite nod of an American who doesn't understand the Canadian terms.  
"So, is this all that you brought with you?" Ray stood looking at my bare walls and back at me.  
"Well," I could feel myself fidgeting under the dull scrutiny of Ray's kind eyes, "I was planning on going over to Target sometime later to get some stuff. I just couldn't bring a lot with me on the plane."  
"We were going to go over once we move most stuff in from the van. We'll take you to, it will be fun for you guys to shop for your room together!"  
"Oh mom! That's a fantastic idea!" Lily cried throwing herself on the comforter that Ray just softened out on the bed. Ray gave a small sigh.  
"No," I mumble back, "I don't want to be a burden. Really I don't mind going by myself."  
Ray gave me an odd stare that I couldn't quite place. "How do you plan on getting there?" She asked, hands on her hips.  
"Um. . . Uber?" I really had no idea. Ray just started chuckling.  
"You're from a small Canadian town, came to New York City without your parents and you think I'm going to just let you go to Target by yourself in an Uber?" She had her mind set. "You're coming with us. Anyway, I'm sure your mother would kill me if I let you go alone." She turned back and shewed Lily off the bed.  
I smiled slightly at the strange care that this woman seemed to have for me. But I couldn't help wondering if my mother would really notice or even care. Feeling at least a little bit of love and care from this woman I just met and her daughter was enough though and I wanted to bathe in it just a little longer before they left.  
"True," I lie, smiling up at them both, "any way that does sound like fun!"  
"Perfect!" Lily exclaimed throwing herself over on her back, her upside-down face still locked on mine "Hey what are you thinking for accents? I was hoping for gold, but we can do anything really!" And I just nodded as I listened to her jabber away and watched her mother continue cleaning up the room. And for once in a little while, I was a little content.


	4. The Dam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine Opens up a little at a time with her new friend Lily

The tile floor was covered in a huge grey shag rug along the middle of the room between the beds, gold fairy lights shined down on us from above and a giant cork board was on the wall closest to the door for both of us to use, sectioned off for the different days of the week, a small rug underneath for us to put or shoes and boots and posters of our favourite musicals (during our bonding I found out she was here for Musical Theater). The walls above her bed were graced with a Heathers and a Hamilton poster, mine with The Secret Garden and The Great Comet of 1812. It was beautiful.  
The Gunn's (I found out their last name later) had treated me to the two posters and bought most of the shared space things; they wouldn't let me spend any money for something that there was even a small chance that Lily would use as well. I started out fighting it, but once I found that there was not going to be a chance of winning I let it go. I'd pay her back at some point.  
Oscar pulled out all the dad moves, putting everything up and teaching us how to use the Command strips and hooks and how to take them down from the wall without damaging the paint. It was helpful because otherwise I wouldn't have known that you should pull the rubber strip down and not out. So, that saved me a good $150 of my deposit.  
Once we finally had the room situated how we wanted it and the furniture where we wanted it; we kept the beds where they were but moved the dressers and the wardrobe we would share around so it was much more of a shared space (the wardrobe was on my side and the mini fridge they bought was on Lily's side on her dresser for us to share, but I still bought mostly non-perishables to last the first few weeks till I was sure Lily was really okay with that) we were finally able to sit down and relax for a bit.  
"It really looks beautiful, Mom!" Lilly sighed, leaning her head on Ray's shoulder as they both lounged against the throw pillows, both looking frazzled but happy with their work I couldn't help but notice Oscar leaning against the door to the (extremely improved) washroom and gazing fondly and the two. I smiled to myself, happy to be a little part of this family picture.  
"Yup, work well done," Ray's voice was drowned out by a rapping on the door and Oscar quickly swung around and pulled the door open.  
"Oh, I get it," he exclaimed jokingly, revealing Dillon standing in the doorway, "you girls went to a club when you went down to the van earlier!"  
Lily's face nearly matched her hair.  
"DAD!" a shriek came from her clenched teeth and she flung herself back on her pillows.  
"No, no I'm afraid I don't occupy clubs, sir. I have to say the roof top soirees are more my taste." Dillon chuckled, and gave one of his winks.  
Oscar just turned back at us and said "I like him. One of you date him." Ray was in stitches by this point.  
"Hey again, Christine!" Dillon noticed me behind the wardrobe and gave me a little wave.  
"Hey, Dillon." I give a nod, trying to hold back some of my laughter. "What's up?"  
"Well, I just wanted to let you girls know that the floor meeting is going to be in about an hour so I advise to get some food and then meet in the common area." He explained as he drummed his fingers on the door frame, in obvious discomfort from the scrutinizing gaze of Oscar.  
"Sounds good!" Ray called before I could respond, still consoling the furiously embarrassed Lily. "I assume you're the RA on this floor?"  
"Yup!" Dillon proclaimed, puffing his chest out a little, leaping into action and being, once again, the epitome of RA excellence, sticking his hand nearly into Oscars gut. "I apologize, I should have introduced myself earlier! I'm– "  
"Dillon, yes we heard." Ray stood up and was beside Oscar in a second.  
"You're the RA?" Oscar's attitude toward him immediately turned sour.  
"Um yes! Yes, I am!" I could see the wheels immediately start to turn in his head how he could possibly turn a mixed-gendered floor into a positive for a protective father. "Sir, I can promise you that there will be definitely no club visits on my watch, sir. I'll be like their older brother."  
"Oh, yes that makes me feel a lot better." Oscar muttered under his breath.  
"DAD!" came a squeal from the pile for red hair buried under the throws. Up popped a red face with big eyes. "We'll be fine! Just go. I'll see you tomorrow!" She hopped up to give her parents a hug before she tried to usher them out.  
"Alright, alright. We'll head out," he gave her a big hug and a kiss on the forehead then grabbed her face to make her look at him, her curls getting caught in the process, "But we'll see you tomorrow, so don't be afraid to tell us anything that happens tonight." And then with a quick side glance at Dillon added a very solid "Anything." Lily pushed back and went to give her mom a hug, which turned into a tangle of arms, hair, and tears, mostly from Ray.  
Oscar turned to me and gave me his fist to "pound it out" as he called it.  
"You too, Chris." He added as I hit my fist against his. "See you tomorrow." He grabbed the last few plastic bins and headed out the door giving Dillon one last glare and waiting for Ray.  
Ray let go of Lily and headed over to me. I stood up before her and before I knew it I was wrapped into a hug the was oddly reminiscent of our first meeting, just a generation up. This time I was less hesitant about putting my arms around her and giving a squeeze.  
"Take care of each other. I know you will." She pulled back and looked at me. "You're a very sweet girl Christine. I can't wait for all the other times we'll see each other."  
"Me too, Ray." I reply, feeling one of her fly aways go into my eye. I wipe away any wetness that might have come through as Ray turns grabs her purse and meets her husband at the door.  
Dillon was still there.  
"What are you doing gawking around here?" Oscar nearly shrieked at him, making him jump back, comically against the door frame.  
"I-I thought I would walk you guys out to your car." He managed to stumble out. His tanned skin had gone a couple shades darker.  
"You better. That's what a respectable young man would do." His gruff voice booming down the hall.  
As Dillon lead them out, Oscar turned back to us and gave us a large wink as he followed behind, not breaking character.  
Ray grabbed the handle and whispered into the room "I don't think he'll bother either of you for a while." And shut the door.  
"Oh, my God!" Lily exclaimed, throwing herself back on her bed. "He could not be any worse!"  
I just shrugged my shoulders sitting back on my bed. "I don't know. I thought it was kind of sweet. He definitely cares about you."  
"Yeah, enough to stifle me!" She came up on her elbows and threw an incredulous look at me. "You know what it took me to get them to let me to come here? It's only an hour and a half away and they act like I'm going to Asia, never to return!"  
"Oh, come on." I could tell where this was going and I didn't like it. "It couldn't have been that bad!"  
"I had to make charts, Christine. I'm an art kid. Do you know how hard it was to make a chart for me? With numbers?"  
"Well," I laughed back, "I still find it sweet. I got no fight to come here, and it kind of would have been nice to have gotten some reaction from my mom." Change the subject, Change it!  
"My mom wasn't the problem, it was my dad!" she sighed, getting up and pulling out some pajamas from her drawers. "He was the biggest sleaze in college so he wants to make sure no asshole like him gets their hands on me. Honestly, it's the most embarrassing thing." She looked back at me with a very serious expression. I could feel it coming. "You're really luck your dad didn't come-"  
"No, you're lucky you have a dad!" I exploded at her. I didn't even realize I had said it; but there it was.  
I shut my eyes tight.  
Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut! You're so stupid, Christine!  
"Christine?" I heard her voice finally, I could almost feel her mentally tiptoeing around the subject but still trying to touch it without breaking the glass. "What do you mean?"  
I still didn't open my eyes. I could feel my heart rising in my throat.  
No! You won't cry in front of your roommate. You just met her today. Don't burden her with your feelings! No one wants that!  
"Nothing." I managed to mumble out, trying to shove the lump down.  
"Then why won't you look at me?" I could hear the pity. It was around me like a blanket.  
Warm, but suffocating all the same.  
I felt a hand lay itself on my shoulder. She had made her way over and I felt her lower her weight onto the empty bed beside me.  
I gave the stone in my throat a final mental shove and it was far enough out of my mind that I could speak.  
"Please," I started slowly, my own voice sounding cracked from the strain I was using to keep the stone down. "if I tell you, please, don't pity me," I could feel the stone rising and I didn't know if I was going to cry, vomit or both. I took a deep breath and asked God for the strength to continue. "That's why I tried to get as far from home as I could. I couldn't handle the pitying looks and the words. Everyone I saw."  
I could feel the tears start brimming and shut my eyes tighter to make some attempt at stopping the flow.  
I felt her grab hold of my hand, and squeeze it. It brings me back to a moment I'd rather not remember right then and begins to bring me over the edge. "You can tell me whatever you feel comfortable telling me, but I promise I will not pity you."  
That's what did it. I break. The dam is destroyed. I am a balling baby, crying in front of my roommate in our first ten minutes alone together. But instead of pulling away and walking away like my mom had done when we found out he was gone, Lily stayed.  
She wrapped her arm around me and pulled me into a hug. She just let me cry it out. I hadn't been able to do that for a long time.  
"I'm sorry." I mumble after what felt like forever.  
"What is it with you Canadians?" she sighed, and I couldn't help but chuckle. "You have nothing to apologize for!"  
"Yes, I do!" I pulled back, for the first time looking at her full in the face, "In the first minutes since you parents left I just started sobbing on you! If that's not crazy roommate behavior I don't know what is!"  
"Well, you know it was me who triggered you so I'm not exactly running for the hills yet." She threw back at me.  
"I didn't tell you my "trigger" was hate speech on dads either, so I think we can safely say we're both in the wrong." I joked back as I got up to clean myself off in the bathroom, and got a look at myself in the mirror.  
"Oh great," I called out weakly "Quasimodo is going to make an appearance at the floor meeting."  
"Your one of those then, huh?" Lily questioned from out in the room, "Good. I am too."  
I started running the tap and threw a bit of cool water on my face, "One of what?" I ask through handfuls of water.  
Lily appeared behind me in her sweats with a plastic cup of water from the filter in the fridge, "You use humor as an armor too." She explained leaving the cup on the counter and turned to sit on the closed toilet lid.  
"Yeah, I guess so." I sighed, making sure the eye puffiness had gone down a little. "I'm not great at it apparently."  
"No, I think you just weren't expecting that horde of emotional orcs to come over your wall."  
I turned around and waited for an explanation. She stared at me like it was the most normal thing in the world.  
"What?" She sighed exasperatedly "You've never watched Lord of the Ring's have you?"  
I just shook my head.  
"Good!" The excited smile returned to her face. "I have the whole Trilogy on my laptop, and we'll need something to do once we're done meeting everyone on the floor!"


	5. A Sensational Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine and Lily make friends and find out a little more about one of the professors

Shrieking filled the halls as we made our way back to our rooms.   
There really was just a half hour of rules and regulations and the rest of the evening delved into team building games and getting to know the other members of our floor.   
Our RA’s kept a close eye on us all and they were very interested in getting to know us all. Of course Dillon was there, during the orientation bit we learned that he was a Music Technology Major, while our other RA Rebecca was a Dance major. She was tall and thin, with movements that told you that she preferred ballet over everything else.  
Talking to the rest of the people on the floor, we learned that the majority of us were art related majors. We ended the night showing our room off to the rest of the floor and vise versa, but ours was by far superior. With posters and fairy lights illuminating the rugs that were bought to color coordinate with the duvets it really looked like something right off of Pinterest. Lilly and I looked at each other with pride while the rest of the floor ooh’d and aww’d over our hard work.  
We went back to the common room to hangout with some the other members of the floor.  
“So what classes do you guys have?” Lilly asked the group of girls that we had grouped up with. There was a blonde girl named Iris Who lived across the hall from us, and a brunette, named Kristina who linked up with me as soon as she sound out we had similar names. Both of them were in the Theater Department.  
“I have Acting with Mrs.Debney every Monday and Wednesday!” Kristina excitedly announced, glancing over at Dillon who was sitting in an arm chair in the corner, focused intently on whatever it was he was working on.  
“Oh me too!” Iris claimed, “wanna dibs on scene partners?”   
As they giggled I couldn’t help but wince a little. This was the kind of friendship I always wanted in school but could never put myself out there enough to get. But I knew with Lilly she would always be that extrovert to my introvert. At least whenever we were together.  
“Oh here it is,” Lilly, who had been scrolling through her phone, had found her schedule. “I have Mr. Truss for Jazz, Mr. Freeman for Musical Theater Acting, and Mrs. Hillman for Group Singing. I haven’t been assigned a private voice teacher yet. That’s in Fridays though so I’m sure they will get back to me tomorrow.”  
The more time I spend with her the more I realize just how laid back Lilly is. Theres not a moment when she is flustered or anxious about social interactions or how things will pan out. She just takes life for the ride. I wish I could be more like that. Why can’t I be more like that?  
“Chris?” I hear bringing me out of my stupor. I shake my head and realize the group was staring at me as I stared at Lilly, non-blinking. She looked at my with those doe eyes, concern mixed with confusion. “Chris? You alright?”  
“Oh,” I look down in shame for a moment, “Yeah sorry, just zoned out for a minute.” Stupid Christine! Pay Closer Attention!  
“Come on Canada, we gotta stop that apologizing train! I just asked you a question is all.” Lilly sat back on her hands, very proud of this new nickname.  
“Oh, sorry, what was it?”  
“AAAHHHHHH CANADA!” Lilly reached forward and pretends to shake me violently, I chuckle when I realize what I had done.  
“I just asked if you have your voice teacher assigned to you yet.” Lilly leans back on her hands, watching my face like it will give her some kind of answer.  
“Oh yeah, I've had them assigned for about a week now.”  
“And?” She asks waiting for the rest. “ Who do you have? Just incase my person sucks and I can transfer to yours” She gives me a wink as she brushes a strand of hair from her eyes.  
“Let, me check,” I stall as I pull out my planner from my bag, “ I forget his name but I know I have a guy.”  
I flip through the pages until I come to the back part of my plain black planner with all my classes, teachers, times and days.  
“Erik Destler.”  
“You have Destler?”  
We all whip around and see Dillon standing by us all, staring at me with wide eyes.   
Lilly looked over my shoulder at my scratched piece of paper. “Yep,” pointing it out “Destler. What of it?” She asks looking back up at him with a slight defensive look in her eyes.  
Dillon shook his head, shrugged his shoulders and sighed.  
“If I were you I’d transfer.”  
“Why?” Lilly said taken slightly aback. “Is he bad?”  
“No.” He shook his head faster, “In fact I would say he is the best teacher here. I’ve had him for my Music Production classes but he is…difficult.”  
I feel my face start getting warm. “What do you mean difficult?”   
He took a breath. “Well, he’s made more than one student leave the school. I would probably put that in the difficult category.”   
“WHAT!?” Iris and Kristina say in unison. Looks of shock on their clearly displayed on they faces.  
“How can he dod that and still be working here?” Lilly was incredulous to this new knowledge. “No parent would be okay with that. He would be fired.”  
“Tenures crazy like that.” Dillon came down to our level between Iris and myself, looking at my schedule.  
“You’re lying,” Lilly said swinging back onto my backpack, using it like a floor pillow. “You’re just trying to scare the newbies.”   
“You don’t believe me? Rebecca!” He called across the room to the other RA who had been reading a textbook entitled ‘Respect for Acting by Uta Hagen’. Dillon started waving her over to come sit with us.  
“Whats up?” She asked as she crouched down next to Kristina. Nodding toward my planner, Dillon said “Guess who’s got the Devil for their first voice lesson?”  
Rebecca’s face went pale. “No you don’t!” She ripped my planner from my hands and stared with open mouthed horror. “Since when did they start letting him teach freshies again?”   
“I’m sorry,” Lilly took the planner back and handed it back to be, : but why are they letting him teach anyone here? He can’t be as bad as you guys are making him out to be.”   
“Girlie I had him my freshman year,” Rebecca said defensively, “You’re getting this information straight from the source.”  
Iris and Kristina grasped on her every word, the lights suddenly felt dimmer and colder then the warmth of the common room moments before. I felt a chill go down my back and I asked the question we all wanted to. “What happened?”  
“Well,” Rebecca shifted so she was fully on the floor, her bcookresting in her lap, the performance degree she’s worked had on coming out naturally as she began weaving her tale. “I had him for freshman year. One of the seniors tried to warn me about him, told me how he had scared freshman away before. I didn’t listen when they told me to switch teachers. I went in for my first lesson, immediately critiqued me. The way I stood and spoke but also how I was dressed and how I decided to do my hair. He said ‘A professional singer will never be taken seriously in such trash’. That was enough for me to transfer out right then, but then the singing started. He didn’t even let me get one note out when he started just screaming at me for my breathing. We maybe got three notes in. When he slammed the cover of the piano down and screamed in my face ‘ Next week have those notes perfect or there will be consequences.’ And left. I just sobbed then and there. I transferred as soon as I left that room”  
I could feel my heart pounding in my head. How am I supposed to survive class with a monster like that?   
“Maybe you were just too sensitive about it.” Lilly rebutted, but I could tell she was rattled “You’re probably just sensationalizing it all in your head.”   
“ Are 15 other girls from my year also sensationalizing it?” Rebecca asked her. “They all have the same story.”  
“Why is he still working here?” I asked quietly, afraid to anger her more than I already had.  
Rebecca just shrugged “No one really knows. Theres complaints every year but every year he’s still teaching classes.”  
“Thats probably because he’s so good at the Music Production side of things.” Dillon inserted. “I’m one of his favorites.” He said with a proud puff of his chest.  
“Probably because you’re also an asshole.” Rebecca retorted.  
“Either way,” Dillon said, making sure to get my full attention, “I would transfer out if I were you.” He took me in fully before saying “ESPECIALLY if I were you.”


	6. The Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine final sees Mr.Destler and has her first lesson.

The First week of classes went by as a blur in anticipation of my first singing class with Mr. Destler. Lilly and I spent a lot of our down time in the libretto section of the Library, hoping to find something that might be acceptable for me so bring for my first lesson.  
“Hasn’t he sent you anything yet?” Lilly asked as she flipped through a 4th volume of “Ballads for Sopranos” for the 7th time. She did get her voice teacher assignment the next day as she had predicted and they sent her the full syllabus as well as a list of time period appropriate songs for her to possibly bring in for her lesson on Friday.  
“Nope,” I sigh, flipping through the 7th volume of “Soprano Voice Type” fo the 5th time. “It’s been radio silence.”  
“Thats a load of bull.” Lilly threw the book on the floor in front of her, exhaustion apparent on her face. The dim lights of the library did nothing to help the exhaustion that was settling into her bones from the new schedule of dance classes that had her waking up at five every morning.   
“He should at least have to give you the syllabus so you have a little prep for his class.”   
“Yeah, well, he probably is doing everything in his power to get all the freshies out so he can go on with his life.” I close my eyes tight, begging the stinging sensation to go away. “I should just transfer, everyone else has at this point.”  
Once the other 10 students that had him found out the rumors that surrounded this professor, they called their parents and they were transferred out in the wake of a lot of yelling and threatening. Good for them, I think.  
“No.” Lilly turns toward me with determination on her face. “You are not giving him the satisfaction. You know that’s what he wants, and I am not going to let him walk all over you like that. If he says anything,” and she squares up, pretending to clock me in the jaw, just tapping it gently when her pale fist reaches its destination.  
I force a smile back at her. “You’re pretending I have the same courage that you do.”   
“Exactly,” she leans forward. “Pretending. It gets you a long way.” She shrugs and grabs Volume 3 for the 8th time.  
She shuts her eyes tight and starts flipping through the pages. “Eenie Meenie Myenie Moe I choose this one.” Flinging the book open, her finger lands on ‘A Vos Jeux’ from Hamlet by Ambroise Thomas.  
“There,” she gets up and heads to the photo copy machine in the corner of the room. “You are officially Ophelia.”  
“Lilly!” I struggle to get up from my kneeling position to get to her before she pressed ‘Copy’ and the familiar lights make their way across the paper. “I can’t play Ophelia, there’s nothing ‘Ophelia’ about me.” I reach her side as the papers are falling into the tray.  
“Are you joking?” She looks at me like I’ve lost my senses. “You are the most Ophelia looking girl I’ve ever met.”  
I knew I had to resign, she was so strong when she wanted something. Right now she wanted me to play Ophelia in this stupid voice lesson. “He’ll laugh me out of the room.” I say as my final line of defense.  
“And what did I say I would do if he gives you any trouble.” Again the pale fist made an appearance.

Friday morning brought runny scrambled eggs and a stress headache.  
“Canada, you have to eat something.” Lilly said exasperated, tearing her hair out of her ballet bun from her 7am ballet class. Thankfully our semesters coincided perfectly so we could have breakfast together between her ballet and music theory every morning. A perfect 1 hour.  
“I know but I’m so nervous.” I feel my stomach flip as I stare at my plate of eggs and toast. I hear him before I see Dillons golden retriever face sit beside me.  
“Hey, how’s the only freshie who hasn’t dropped Destler’s class yet?” He slid into the seat leaning forward on the table rolling a bruised apple between his hands.  
“What are you talking about?” Lilly asked before I could.  
“We all heard about it in class yesterday.” Dillon bit into the fruit. “He said how he basically has a free period and for us to come on by because he only has one last one to scare off.” He nudged me with his shoulder in a joking manner, but it just made my stomach flip like a dolphin at the bow of a ship.  
“Oh you don’t look so good there, Chris.”Dillon inspected my face for a moment. His fingers graze my cheek and I can smell his cologne on his skin. I feel my stomach move but more of a flutter than a flip.  
“You’re freaking her out Dillon,” Lilly says through a mouthful of toast. “What you want her to be super excited about having ‘the Devil’ for class?”  
He glances over Lilly’s shoulder and gives a smile and a wave. “Speak of the devil and he appears.” He said quietly so that only we could hear him and then called across the cafe, “Hey Destler!”  
I feel my heart in my throat as Lilly and I both whip our heads to see the man Dillon is waving at.  
A tall man wearing a suit jacket and khakis stands in line for the cafe. Hair loosely slicked back, a slight curl to the strands making them stick up more than the owner intended. He stood straight as a rod, taking full advantage of his height, his hands resting in his pockets. He turns and we get a full look at ‘Destler’. A normal man. A normal man, but with scars all over his face. We only had a moment to gawk before he waved and walked straight for our table.  
“Shit!” Lilly said quietly, face painted with terror I’m sure is mimicking my own. I feel heat rising in my body like I am a living thermometer. Did he see us staring at his face? He’s going to think I’m rude as well as a horrible singer. I should just tell him I’m not coming to the lesson. Oh it was a mistake Mr. Destler. I’m not a singer Mr. Destler. In fact, I can’t speak at all Mr. Destler!  
“Mr. Hunt,” A warm voice with a timber says above me. I force myself to look up and act as normal as possible. “Pleasure seeing you this morning.” He says this with a smile, a kind of smile that tells you not many people get this luxury.   
“Good Morning, Sir.” Dillon gives him his big genuine smile he always seems to have ready. “I have that project ready, would you mind if I popped by tomorrow and played it for you? Im just not sure about how the bass line and the strings mix and would love your opinion.”   
Also a suck up I’m learning.  
“Absolutely, my door is always open to you, Dillon. How about before class you stop by, I have that free period I was telling you about.” He said giving Dillon a wink. I wanted to die.  
“Sounds good, Mr. D!” Dillon says and Mr. Destler’s face falls.  
The conversation is over.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow then, Mr. Hunt.” He says with an emphasis that could cut through diamond.  
With that he is walking back toward the line, glancing at his watch. No doubt dreading the next hour of his private voice lesson.  
“I’m going to die.” I say.  
“How can you feel so comfortable talking to him like that?” Lilly asks, adrenaline pumping through her voice after our close encounter.   
Dillon just shrugs, “I’ve been in his class since freshman year. I push his buttons. He loves it, he just doesn’t show it.” He throws his half finished apple into the garbage closest to us, basketball style.  
“Whats up with his face?” Lilly leans forward, so that no one near by can hear her ask the question.  
“What do you mean?” Dillon asked right back.  
“You know,” Lilly leans back looking around to make sure that Destler hadn’t appeared next to her. “That scaring all over. Its pretty intimidating.”  
Dillon just shrugs, “I don’t know, I think everyones too scared to ask. You know that’s not really something you ask your teacher. ‘WOW what happened to your face!?’” He mocks louder than I was comfortable with. Lilly starts shushing him.  
“Shut up will you?”  
Dillon just laughs, before his phone goes off and he switches off the alarm function. “As fun as this is, I have Senior Seminar soon, so I’m gonna leave you guys to your gossip” He swings his leg over the bench and starts to leave, “Good luck with Destler, Chris. You’re gonna need it.”   
“The more he says it the less I believe him.” Lilly says, pushing around her remaining food.  
“I should just not go.” I slump down farther into my seat. What would even be the point of going if he’s just going to stop me anyway.”  
“No, we are not going to do that.” Lilly reaches for my hands and I reluctantly give them to her. “We are not going to go silent when there is an angry old man who just wants to hurt your feelings. Even if he stops that piano, you are going to keep singing until you get to the end of that song. If he yells at you, then so what,” she shrugged, giving my hands a reassuring squeeze, “ then you can transfer but at least you can say that you tried your hardest. Right?”  
“ Lilly,” I squeeze her hands back, “I wish I had your confidence.” I take a deep breath before continuing “If he does try to stop me I will try, emphasis on try, to keep going.”   
“That’s what I like to hear.”

Walking down the halls of Building A, I hope to God I wrote my schedule down right as I come up to room 401. Looking through the window I can see that there is no one there, the lights are off. I try the handle.   
Locked.  
I feel my heart start fluttering and the familiar feeling of electricity rushing to my fingertips.   
Did I get the room number wrong?  
Did I get the building wrong?  
Did he just decide I wasn’t worth his time?  
As I start to frantically go through my planner, I hear foot steps coming down the hall.  
My heart jumps from my feet to my throat and back again as I see the familiar form of Mr. Destler advancing toward me.   
“Ms. D’Arcy?”   
I can just nod as he approaches the door and unlocks the barrier between me and embarrassment.  
It’s not too late to run.  
He takes me in fully for a moment before leading me into the practice room. “ Let's get this over with.”   
When the light is flipped on I see that there are no windows to be seen, instead the walls are covered by windows of foam, to help absorb the sound of students trying their best. I set my bag down in the corner.  
“You were with Mr. Hunt this morning correct?”  
I look back at him and he is observing me from behind the piano. I nod again.  
“Do you not speak or have they given me a mute for voice lessons.” His scarred face creasing and making the crevices all the more noticeable.  
“No,” I whisper “sir.” I add as an afterthought, trying to quell any anger that I have brought up.  
“Alright.” He flings his coat off and lays it on the top of the piano sitting down with a grace that reminds me vaguely of a cat slinking along a wall.  
“I don’t expect you to have brought in an appropriate song so I took it upon myself -”  
“But I’ve worked on it all week!” I hear myself before I even realize I have opened my mouth.  
His eyes stare into my soul. Slowly he blinks at me. “Oh?” He says almost sounding interested. His eyes tell a different story.  
“Um,” I start to quickly ruffle throughly bag for the song Lilly and I had worked so hard on, “well its just I worked on this song all week. I think it will show off, um, what I can do best.”  
I hold the binder out to him, a familiar tightness appearing in my chest.  
He folds his hand out from his arm. I take the few steps to place the now extremely heavy binder in his outstretched palm. He takes it rougher then I hope he intended, but no apology comes as he throws open the binder to find the song I had prepared for him.  
He chuckles, and I feel my confidence shrink, “Of course its Ophelia.” He looks back up at me with an almost playful look in his eye as he places the binder on the music stand. “Alright,” he purrs, it makes my stomach churn, “Lets see what you’ve worked so hard on.”  
His fingers slam out the opening notes. I am startled but quickly find my ground and my breath. I wait for my entrance inspecting this mans expression intently. He reveals nothing. I open my mouth and start to sing.   
I expected to be stopped during the first note but he didn’t say a word.   
He stopped playing.  
I close my eyes, refusing to look at this man who I was sure going to throw me out of the room at any moment.   
I focus on the notes leaving my body, hoping to God that I was staying in the right key. I wait for the moment he would slam the piano and explode at me for my poor form, my poor technique, my poor clothing, hair, teeth, face. Everything that was wrong.  
He kept silent.   
All through till the end of the 8 bars.  
And longer.  
We both stayed silent.   
I open my eyes and he was already walking out the door, swinging it shut behind him.


End file.
